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Tuesday, January 28, 2020
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Thursday, January 23, 2020
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Staff at Crown Memorial Center posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Our sincere condolences.
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Annie posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Sending love to all those left behind with broken hearts. I am grateful to have been able to connect with Kevin.
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Esther Grummel posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
My son, I have always loved you so. I always knew when you were going to call right before you would call and I had a bloody nose probably when you were bleeding before you died. There are so many memories with a kaleidoscope of colors that flash through my mind it would take a million days and then some to speak of them. No one else knows the peace I felt, looking at those brown eyes when I nursed you, the softness of your little hand on walks as you chatted about ants and snakes, the tenderness you held in your heart for your brothers, the closeness you felt with the beauty of nature. The beautiful spirit you gave to our family of acceptance, giving, honesty, and love. You, striking out on your own with your blue backpack filled with a juice box, crackers, probably my chocolate, and your treasured stuffed cat Snowball, in your florescent sweatshirt striding down the road saying you were running away. And me, running after you frantically saying " Please don't go." Well, now you've finally gone. And moments go by where I think I will just be this empty shell that goes on living. But I hear your voice always saying ," Mom, don't worry about me. Please be in your garden and do what makes you happy. I love you." So, I guess that is what I will do. I am so proud of you for having the courage to follow your own path in life built on humility and giving to others. Your strength in always trying, your openness in talking about your feelings, your incredible intellect and understanding of the human condition. Your resilience. Pretty much what you texted to your niece after she was born is a thought that many can learn from: " I'm not sure if I'll have time to finish what I've started. You're family loves you so much and so do I. Don't worry about all the bullshit on earth, grow that little heart as big as you can, don't be a dick and enjoy your stay." You'll always be with me. Love, mom
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Eedee and Ray posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Words allow us to share our thoughts and feelings ~ yet now they seem so inadequate. Dear Michael , Esther, Alex, and Matt know you are all in our thoughts. You are an example of loving parents and brothers - dear Kevin was blessed to be part of your family. Be gentle and kind with yourselves through your shock and grief. Kevin knew absolutely he was part of a very special family. We are so sorry for your loss. Our love is sent to each of you. We truly believe Kevin is at peace.
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Sharon Seaton-Molder posted a condolence
Sunday, December 31, 2000
Kevin and his memory is so precious to me. He always gave me a beautiful smile, warmth, love and care. He always asked me how I was doing. I know it is not possible, but I want those days back. I want to hear his voice. I am so lucky that I had him in my life. My heart is so shattered for you Kevin and your Mom, Dad, Alex and Matt; all of your family and friends. You are a beautiful child of God.
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Alexander Grummel posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
My brother Kevin was a kind and tremendously thoughtful soul. He was not the center of attention type nor did he ever want to be. He loved animals. When Kevin, Matt and I were kids we all had cats. Kevin’s cat Nighthawk got the most attention. Since Kevin was a young boy he has been a voracious reader. There was a certain beauty in the way he used words, it was not normal, it was poetic. I have many fond memories of our childhood together, playing Legos and fights in the yard with rotten fruit flying back and forth. It’s unsettling to think that I will live my entire life forward without his physical presence. That my son Soren who is three will no longer laugh at uncle Kevin’s big bear hugs. My four month old daughter Rio will never know her uncle. While Kevin's death was one probable outcome of his lifestyle, it still came as a sudden jolt to everyone close to him. It used to be that when a loved one died those left behind got out the shovels, grieved and dug a six-foot hole in the ground to bury the body of the soul they cherished. Kevin was cremated but that did not stop his love ones from digging a big hole in the ground. We found a beautiful Japanese maple with a root ball weighing hundreds of pounds. With great effort my dad, remaining brother and myself dragged it up my steps and placed it in the ground. My family then moved 3000lbs of decorative basalt up those steps and carefully built a beautiful rockery wall surrounding the tree. All the while we joked and cried and suspected that Kevin was looking down at us laughing that we were doing all this hard work in his honor. We joked “where the hell is Kevin he’s supposed to be helping us.” That’s because Kevin could always be counted on to do the hard work, without complaint. He worked countless hours for Jenny and I on our house. When we had to haul thousands of pounds of lathe and plaster down the stairs he never complained. When he and I were in the attic in hazmat suits removing asbestos in the middle of summer and sweating profusely he never complained. Hard work was a constant in his adult life and that work ethic was something he took tremendous pride in. I think it was a productive way for him to channel energy and provided a welcomed distraction from some of his negative internal dialogue. But above all I think he helped Jenny and I because he knew we needed the help. As his big brother my role was to take care of him as best I could. But he took care of me too. He was constantly on the lookout for things he could do to help me and my family. The obvious irony is that the most helpful thing to us would have been him taking care of himself. The many reasons this was too difficult a task for him I’ll never know. Life is harder for some than others and Kevin lived a hard life. In these later years it seemed that getting through each day took a lot of energy for Kevin. That said I always greatly respected and admired the fact that he still had surplus energy to help those around him. Through all his struggles in later years he also kept up a witty, self-deprecating sense of humor that would always make Jenny and I laugh. Kevin spoke and acted from the heart. I’ll miss him everyday for the rest of my life.
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Lynn posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
When I read this (anonymous) quote, I thought of Kevin's close family - Esther, Mike, Alex & Matt - and their constant love for him, "Everything that love could do, was done." Kevin, with the kindest eyes, saw the good in so many. His giant heart goes on...❤
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Matthew Grummel posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Kev – Thanks for being my brother. The guy I could always count on to listen without judgement, the one I could feel comfortable with in any situation. The one that taught me to always love my pets, spend time with grandparents and take pride in my work. You were always there for me, always my biggest fan. Building forts, imagining that we were in a famous band, playing basketball in the front driveway for hours on end, having home run derbies in the backyard, tagging along to light fireworks with you and your friends. All those memories growing up that I hold so dearly are because of you, because you took the time to love your little brother. In recent years I think we both realized how significant our time was together, both as kids and in the present. Whether it was spending the week with our older brother Alex roofing his house or driving your old red truck from Portland to Bellingham in a downpour, it was always real and always special. You were present, someone who loved immensely and asked for little in return, through everything that life threw your way you were always you. Thanks for all of it. Love you, brother.
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Anonymous posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Esther, Alex, Matthew, Your tributes are profound and I am so moved reading them. Kevin was indeed a poetic communicator. His eyes met deeply with those in his presence and he absolutely spoke from the heart. Kevin was always so kind and gracious toward me, more patient than most, and consistently interesting to connect with. I am so grieved by this loss, and even more grieved imagining your loss of this important person in your family. Thank you so much for sharing in this forum-- it is meaningful to learn about Kevin through these personal stories. Such a beautiful unique human and there is no justice in this loss. We know that justice has nothing to do with this. I am so sorry. I am still in shock and wish to express something more helpful, I just want to communicate that as someone outside of the family, Kevin really impressed me as a quality human, so kind even amidst chaos, and quite grounded. He has helped me a lot. I send a lot of love to Kevin's family and friends... I am so sorry that society was not a more warm place to better support amazing people like Kevin.
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Mary Varco posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Ester,Mike,Kevin and Matthew I'm sorry for the Loss of your Dear Son and Brother. Sending you all Love as your honor and remember him.
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Andrew Petrillo posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Kevin saw life through a different lens than most. I feel that through Kevin’s lens, he had a perspective of compassion, love, and empathy towards his family and to me. He saw things for what they were but preceded to show love and kindness through his eyes and actions. Kevin resonated that whenever I was around him. I remember playing soccer with him at the family reunion along time ago and I always wanted to be on his team not because he was the best or the strongest or the fastest but he tried his hardest to have fun and saw the game that way, not a competition where the Grummel family can be very competitive. I got kicked in the shin by an uncle and couldn’t walk and Kevin was there to help me. Kevin showed love through his actions, to me, to his family, to Soran and Rio with smoothies and towards my mom. He never stopped showing love no matter what place he was in and I will always admire that about him. I love you Kevin, you will always be in my heart.
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Claire Evans posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
With deepest sympathy to Esther and her beloved family, as Kevin lives in your hearts and his gentle nature shines from your eyes.
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Lydia Berndt posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
My heart goes out to all of you mourning the loss of this beautiful, complicated human being. I never met Kevin, (I work with his brother Alex and uncle Bob) but the love and grace evident in your words for Kevin are touching, and inspire me to move through the world with greater compassion.
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Anonymous posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
To the Grummel family, I am so sorry for your loss. Your tribute brings tears to my eyes. My condolences and prayers to you all.
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Colleen Lien posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Dear Ester I met you when Matt and my son Jesse were in preschool.My heart is broken for you and your family.My oldest son also struggles with drug abuse. I have lived the challenges. I am truelly sorry sending you lots of love.
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Richard Grendon posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
We are so sorry for your loss. I know the great sorrow and grief at the loss of a child. My parents, as well as the rest of our family lost my brother Dan to cystic fibrosis. It took a terrible toll on all. In time my parents were able to face life again, and that is my hope for all of you. Hold tight to each other. Remember the good, and let rest slip away. My thoughts are with you in this hard time, and I look forward to seeing you when you are ready to be with others. Richard Grendon
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Mike Grummel posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
When asked when I was going to light a candle for Kevin and write a tribute I replied that I’m not going to, that my thoughts and feelings about Kevin were mine and I didn’t need to share them on the internet. However I find myself checking the tributes several times daily to see what people have to say about our son. Now that it has been just over two weeks since his death there is less mention of him. As they say life goes on. This is what I fear, that as time goes on the reality of Kevin fades,that his name isn’t mentioned by friends and family, that he is forgotten. I play back the one voicemail I have of him and even though he wasn’t in the best state of mind, I love hearing his voice. Even in the worst of his days he would call and say “Hey” and we would carry on a conversation. I feel fortunate that he called me within a couple hours of his passing. Neither of us had had an idea of these would be your last living moments. I feel fortunate that we had a connection that he felt free to share his thoughts with me. I find it near impossible to put my feelings for you into words. But I will say this, that you did the very best you could and we, your father, your mother, your two brothers as well as aunts and uncles did the best they could given the circumstances. God bless you. I love you.
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Bob Grummel posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Mike, Esther, Alex and Matt I am so sorry for the your loss of your son Kevin, my nephew. We all knew the day may come when we have to say goodbye to our sons. We are never prepared. I am so glad to have loved Kevin as a member of our family. We were all so hopping he would win his battle and come closer to us all. So grateful he was able to spend time with our family before his crossing. Kevin will be forever in our minds and hearts as we pray that your grief slowing fades as your good memories of Kevin stay strong. Love you all Bob
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Annie posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Dear Kevin, I am so sorry that you had to suffer. You were so loved. I am grateful to have had precious moments with you hiking, practicing yoga and just talking. You were so kind and concerned for me when I took that bad fall on South Sister last year. I cried like a baby and you were so kind. Thank you. I know you touched so many others with your gentle loving spirit. You are in my heart always, Kevin.
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Deborah Manley posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Mike and Ester, Alex and Matt--I am so sorry for your loss. I have fond memories of Kevin as a wee lad. I will be thinking of you.
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Patty posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Dear sweet Kevin, I will miss seeing you at Black Butte next year. I really treasure our summers with you and the family. I remember the first summer we were all together at Sun River when Grandpa decided we would keep coming back every year. You and Dan were about 2, and you were playing on the deck and Dan kept pinching you, or you pinched Dan, (oh so sorry about that!), and so many slivers on your feet! Through all these years I am so grateful you showed up to be with all of us, for hikes, swimming in the lakes, climbing with the family,yoga, and all our great dinners. I always felt I was making my deserts especially for you, since you would so sincerely thank me over and over agin while you would take seconds and thirds (if there was any left). The last time I saw you I told you that I had a mass offered for you at St. Monicas, and you got mad at me, but guess what, there will be another mass said for your beautiful soul on December 20th. And I pray for you because I love you and miss you and am so very sorry you will no longer be with us at Black Butte. You will be with us though, always in our hearts and we will never forget your gentle spirit. Love, Patty
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Jon Burroughs posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Esther, Mike, Alex and Matt, I'm so sorry for your loss. I remember in 4th grade we had a gathering in the library and they told us about Kevins mom fighting breast cancer. I started talking to Kevin after that, we quickly became really close. Aaron Lind, Kevin and I were like the three musketeers, much to the chagrin of of our teachers and the principal lol. We had so much fun and got into so much trouble. Kevin was so compassionate and wise. Super smart too. I learned a lot from him and he always had the hot tip on books. My mom wasn't around back the. You guys became like family to me. Esther you were like a mom to me. You guys were so patient and kind, even if Kevin and I were getting into trouble. When I found out this morning that he is gone, it was like someone hit me in stomach. I'm mad at myself for not keeping in touch with him over the last 8 years. He was my best friend for a huge chunk of my life. There is comfort in knowing he isn't hurting anymore. I just with I could've talked to him one more time.
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Anonymous posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
While I never met Kevin, I can tell how wonderful he is by the impact he has left on those that knew him. To the Grummel family-I am truly sorry for your loss and am thankful he lives through your stories, sharing of memories, and thoughts. Kevin- I know your brother, and he is amazing as I can only imagine you were too. I wish we could have met.
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Zoran Smiljanic/Lisa Hamilton posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Very sorry to hear about Kevin. Our hearts break for you. You are in our thoughts daily. We know how hard this is, losing our youngest three years ago. There are no words.
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Rob Nass posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Kevin was such a kind soul, so much that word cannot do justice to describe the wonderful young man he was. I remember all the boys from a very young age, as I met Alex in the 5th grade (we actually really didn’t like each other). After we kindled a real friendship, I remember so many fond times of playing with Alex, Kevin and Matt throwing rotten peaches at each other. Chasing each other around the house and causing a general raucous good time. I recall Kevin’s infectious laughter and wonderful sense of humor. It was always a pleasure to be around all the Grummel boys and to crack funny’s. He always seemed to enjoy our *distasteful humor. Through all of Kevin’s trials and tribulations, he still maintained a rock solid set of morals and ethics. The way he selflessly helped others, including my own mother, will never be forgot. He was like a brother to me and I will miss him but not forget him. Kevin, I’ll see you in the halls of Valhalla. I love you, man. My deepest condolences to you, Esther, Mike, Alex and Matt. Our hearts are broken but not defeated. I wish I could hug you all right now. Love you Grummel’s.
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Louis Kallgren posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Kevin and I were never all that close, mainly due to our age difference. This limited our interactions to family events, and of course the week of the family reunion. While I can't say a whole lot on the specifics of his life, I do know that as a cousin Kevin was as kind and supportive as one could ask. In such a loud, talkative family, one thing Kevin and I shared was our lack of that loudness. While I love the Grummel family just as it is, it was always nice knowing I wasn't the only quiet one, and I hope Kevin felt the same. Alex, Matt, Mike, and Esther, I am so sorry that this has become a reality, and I will have you all, and Kevin in my thoughts.
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Kelly Costello posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Kevin always had a bright twinkle in his eye, and as years went on, that always gave me a glimpse of hope for his path. It is with great sorrow to his family and friends mourning his loss, and embracing his memories. My condolences to you all, from my whole heart. I remember meeting Alex’s brother, out one night, I was interested to meet another Grummel. I was pleasantly surprised sitting in the booth at The Grand, he was shy, tender and mindful. We sat and enjoyed my request on the juke box of “Blue raincoat” Leonard Cohen, and it seemed as tho you were the only person that felt the music as I, we did. Over the years, I always felt a warm embrace from you, timid but kind. From being my right hand man at Jenny and Alex’s wedding, 8Am peeling eggs, shucking corn and really talking with you, which I knew at times didn’t always come naturally to you. Yet we, minced, chopped, shucked and became friendly and honest in our conversation. That was a wonderful day, and I was so glad to have you by my side in the kitchen and down the aisle honoring Alex and Jenny’s matrimony. Over the years, I would bump into you at the store in the Columbia neighborhood, I would always be excited, waving out the window, or stopping for a quick chat, as you stopped peddling from your bike to say hello. Always with a kind smile. The last I saw you, I hold dear to my heart, even before you left. It was a beautiful July day, with your parents, Jenny’s Mom, Alex, Soren and Rio. We sat out on the porch, the late summer sun on us all, laughing, talking and you held Rio for the first time. Your smile, holding her was so loving and kind. Soren enjoyed playing with you and was proud of Uncle Kevin. We all sat around the table and had a nice meal, that I had cooked and you hugged me, and I felt your love. I know so many friends and family experienced your love Kevin, they are so blessed and miss it. I am grateful you shared a piece of your kind heart with me, and I will smile with a sorrowful heart of the times we spent together, you had a way of making them feel bigger then this life. May you Rest In Peace, With Love, Kelly
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Julia posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Although it has taken me a little while to find the strength to write something here, I think of Kevin often. I cherish the interactions I had with him this last summer in Black Butte. He always expressed such sincere kindness, gratitude and genuine love. I will never forget him, his kind eyes, his shy demeanor and his laugh. Sending so much love to everyone in the family. He was deeply supported by those around him. May you rest in peace, Kevin, we will never forget you.
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Hannah Siano posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Dear sweet Kev-- the memory I keep replaying in my mind is the moment Matt and I reunited with you at the airport at the start of the Black Butte trip this summer. Especially because it was a flawless moment that I wish we could reverse back to. We deboarded the plane and ran to the restrooms, walked out and within minutes, with perfect timing, you appeared. You appeared gleaming with a hearty smile, light tan shirt soaked with sweat from a steep hike up a mountainside with your mom and dad in the baking Eastern Oregon heat. As always, you welcomed us whole-heartedly with open arms and your stronghanded, tight squeeze of a hug. You seemed stoked, in positive spirits, and clear-headed. It was reassuring to get a hug from you, and it meant a lot that you were comfortable enough to welcome me like that. Even if I had zero chance of quite matching your strength, I would always try to squeeze back as hard as I could. This “usual” situation now feels lightyears away, and impossibly, painfully hard to reach. What we would all give to see you and tangibly get to hug and hold you now. Sometimes when I am staring off into the distance or looking at a rolling landscape or field, I try to imagine you appearing and walking toward us. It is comforting to think of you and try to trick my mind into believing that you are here. It is hard to accept that seeing you and being with you can no longer be a part of our reality. It is a reality that none of us want to live in. The pure love between you and Matt is and was so apparent, every time you guys met up I always enjoyed witnessing your happiness and genuine joy simply spending time together. It was clear how deep of a bond you two had. I can’t properly express how much of an honor I feel it was that I got to hang with you two. Sometimes I have felt like I was in on sacred moments and that you two should have gotten more alone time without me, but I cherish the moments that we all spent together. Time moved slower when I was hanging out with you and Matt. I appreciated this about you, as it was one of the first things I noticed about your brother; that you always seemed to be present, taking in the elements around you and appreciating every detail of life. I will always remember lying under the stars on the golf course at Black Butte last summer. You, Matt and I, in a comfortable silence, stargazing, taking in one of life’s miracles that our society too often ignores or takes for granted. It doesn’t feel right that there are no longer phone calls every couple weeks from you, signaled by Matt’s voice saying, “Hey, Kev—". I was always comforted when you and Matt would talk for a half hour, taking the time to catch up and to lend each other an ear for whatever was going on in either of your lives. One of the last conversations we had with no one else around involved you intuitively observing that I was “hard on myself” – to which I thought to myself, who is calling the kettle black. So as hard as it is to write something and not feel that it adequately expresses all that I want to encompass, here I am trying to be less hard on myself as you thought was important. I hope that you are in a place now that you can be less hard on yourself too. We all miss you here each day. Although it has been impossibly difficult, I am honored to bear witness to the expansive love Matt, Mike, Esther, Alex, Jenny and your whole family has for you, and to know how deeply you reciprocated this love.
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Holly Bevan-Bumford posted a condolence
Monday, January 1, 2001
Dear Esther and Mike (and all the family) – I sure wish I had had the honor of meeting Kevin, from pictures and stories I have been hearing of him, he was obviously a very loving and intelligent young man. The incredibly thoughtful notes written to and by the family are a strong tribute to his character and the deep affection held by those close to him. When I chance to visit with parents of young ones, I often say to them that parenting was both the most frightening and rewarding part of my life. That it still feels that way and doesn’t change just because they are grown. It is my way of trying to impart to them to enjoy every precious moment – even the exhausting, challenging times when your patience is all used up – because time goes so quickly and you look back and wonder where it went. We give our entire hearts to our children and so desire to be able to keep them safe from all that life can throw their way, but ultimately, we can only hope and pray that their journey is a long and fulfilling one. So, as a parent, one who is so grateful for your son Matt being a part of my family now, I just reach out to you with love in my heart and hope it can offer a little support for your deep loss. Love, Holly
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