Saturday, November 28, 2020
Robert was a good man, and even better friend. In the time he's been a part of my life (since middle school), he and I could go years without speaking only to pick right up where we left off when we connected again. I'll miss that.
I met Robert at Mt. Tabor Middle School somewhere between band and basketball. Neither of us probably guessed that we would stay connected over the decades to come. I would enjoy coming over to Robert's house and spend hours playing (or watching) video games, watching dumb movies and Mystery Science Theater 3000, or making stop-motion videos that somehow involved his hamster. The MacKays were always generous hosts, and I loved hanging out at their house - probably because it was a refuge from all the drama with my three sisters at home. Although Robert was always better at everything than me (sports, video games, anything else), he tolerated me being around pretty convincingly.
We'd go on to attend different high schools across town, but remain connected on weekends. When both of us played football against each other one year, Robert never let me forget how awful of an athlete I was. In turn, I recall a few plays on special teams where I completely disregarded the guy with the ball and instead went after Robert. My Coach didn't know we were good friends, and otherwise didn't appreciate me letting the opponent run right by me.
Robert was a steadfast friend while I was dating a particularly awful girl, and had the wisdom to recognize some red flags that I didn't see. Ignoring his good counsel, things eventually went awry, but Robert never rubbed my nose in it. Instead, he quietly picked me up from across town to take me home - wounded, but wiser.
At the University of Oregon, Robert and I reconnected via his fraternity. He had initiated his freshman year, and I was pledging as a sophomore. Although my full-time work on top of classes prevented me from moving forward with fraternity life, Robert remained a supportive friend who's tutoring helped me just squeak through my second year of German. Add "foreign languages" to the list of things he was better at.
Years later, Robert again supported me as the Best Man at my wedding. In his typical nonchalant pragmatic fashion, he casually checked his watch (about 90 minutes before the ceremony) while we were watching a marathon of A-Team reruns in the hotel room and said "We should probably start getting ready." We arrived at the venue just in time for pictures. A few years earlier, Robert had wisely advised that I "not screw this up" after he met Sarah for the first time. Our duo had become a triple-threat, and Sarah grew to love Robert as much as I did (although I'd never said that to his face).
As the Kuh family grew over the years, Robert became "Uncle Bob" and the boys looked forward to his visits. The gifts of used video games and that awesome Guitar Hero set probably didn't hurt. I would greet his arrival with an ice cold Mirror Pond in a frosty mug, with us once again picking up right where we left off. We were anticipating another visit this year but a sick dog and COVID pushed that back beyond Robert's unexpectedly short time on Earth. I'll always regret not making that happen.
Robert's passing hurts, a lot, but I wouldn't trade relief from this pain for one less moment of the time I was blessed to spend with him. The world will forever be lonelier without him, and I'll miss my friend for the rest of my life. I wish for peace and healing for the MacKays, and lift them up in my heart while we remember the better days with Robert.
~ Brian
brianwkuh@gmail.com
